Time flies when you're raising a kid

Somehow time flies by when you're raising a very busy baby.  Lilly is almost 7 months (wth?) - the picture above is from Easter, when she was 6 months.  She loves to interact, at the same time quietly observing.  Her brain is an incredible little sponge; it's amazing to see her watching us & then try to mimic.  She still loves daycare & is growing into a social little lady.  At 6 months, she was only in the 12th percentile for height, grew to the 50th percentile for weight, & a whopping 95th percentile for head circumference.  Kid has a huge noggin (all that brain matter).  Put her at one side of the room & in the blink of an eye, she's rolled across to the other side.  She desperately wants to crawl & I have no doubts that will be coming along soon.  Any day now, she will cut a tooth.  We've started pureed foods & so far, she loves most things.  Except peaches.  She continues to sleep fairly well (crossing fingers, toes, & eyes) & vocalizes as much as possible.

We love her.

This face

Oh my gosh.  This face.  We're biased for obvious reasons but it's hard not to claim she's the cutest.

Goings on

 Christmas morning, this little fella found our compost bin, as the lid had blown off the night before.  If he could have fit more of his body, I think he would have crawled right in.  I can't imagine composting food is good on the guts but then again, it is winter & nutrients are scarce for these critters.
*The "fence" in front of him is a garden next to the compost bin & there wasn't a good shot of him without going outside & scaring him away.  The previous home owners used bird fencing like it's going out of style...one of the things we'll be changing next summer.

Our little sponge is soaking up the world around her as she continues moving into new development milestones.  Playing with her hands, looking at pictures, blowing bubbles...

And she's eating like a monster.  This little girl must be growing like a weed, packing on the pounds after lengthening out a bit.  You can see her lovely little baby belly in the picture above.  It, along with the rolls on her legs, are the cutest damn thing.

Happy Holidays

Don't let this picture fool you, right before we snapped it, Lilly was crying & Brewer peed on the carpet.  Somehow, we got our s**t together & snapped the picture before more hell broke loose.

Happy Holidays!

Lessons from a first-time mom

 Two months in & I think we're figuring some things out. But I won't get too comfortable. We have this saying in Montana - ok, probably every state has this saying, except Hawaii - "if you want to see the weather change, just wait 5 minutes." I'm fairly certain that also applies to kiddos. "Just when you think you have it down & you're in a groove, just wait 5 minutes." Here are some things I've learned through this roller coaster:
1. It will take time to bond with your baby. And it is ok. It doesn't mean you don't love your baby and your heart won't jump into your throat when you're checking on baby for the fifteenth time in ten minutes while he/she is sleeping and you think they've stopped breathing.  You just brought a new human into this world and you have to get to know each other. It's like bringing home a complete stranger who doesn't speak your language & can only communicate by crying. That's not easy.
2. You will be judged.   It doesn't matter if it's the name of your child or how soon you choose to go back to work, someone at some point will make a comment that stings & makes you question your ability as a parent. And you need to remain strong in your belief that you're doing the right thing for you & your family.  When comments hurt, smile & nod & say "thank you, I'll take that into consideration" (while clenching your teeth & thinking "bite me") or "thanks for your concern, if you'd like to pay two months of our mortgage payments, I'll be happy to stay home longer with baby." If you have any doubts on the health of your child or how things are going, consult with your pediatrician. You and your pediatrician are teammates & they are a wealth of knowledge for caretaking of little ones. If you don't like your pediatrician, find one you can trust. Which brings me to my next point...
3. Find a pediatrician you like and trust. Not just the pediatrician but their office staff, too. Before you have the baby, interview several pediatricians. If they work with a group of pediatricians & share duties, make sure to interview their partnering peds. When I say you become teammates, you need to know, like & trust this doc A LOT.  Not only do they help guide you in the development of this little person, they will (hopefully) be a your child's healthcare provider for a looong time. You want someone that your kiddo will like & trust too.
4. You will be amazed at your ability to find a second wind.  Just when you think you can't get up in the middle of the night  again, your baby cries for you at 2 a.m., you jump up, rub the sleep out of your eyes, & commence taking care of this little creature. You may not jump up as quickly after the first two weeks, it's more of a stumble, but you have inner strength you never knew possible.
5. Your communication with you partner is  crucial.   Whether it's discussing who will take which feeding shift, asking if there is something that person needs free time to accomplish (working out, showering, cooking), or asking for help, you must must MUST have open lines of communication. If you don't have a live-in partner, this holds true for anyone helping you in the care of your child.
6. You will resent your baby & your new life. I KNOW, this sounds incredibly harsh but before you filet me, admit it's true. There will be times you will look at your screaming child, your eyes a vacant black hole of sleep deprivation, & (guiltily) wish you were back to your carefree childless days. And it is ok. You love your family but you don't always like them. Same holds true for your new addition. Understand these emotions are normal & it will pass. The only time to be concerned is if you become a risk to you or your baby...
7. Ask for help. These are in no particular order but this would be one of the most important. You may think you are the strongest, most sane person but this baby will test your limits and it may shake you to the core.  Your patience will run very very thin. You MUST be willing to ask your support person, whoever that may be, for help. In the very least, put your baby in their crib (with no blankets, toys, or anything dangerous) or on the floor (a baby can't roll off anything if they're on the floor, away from hazards of course) & walk away. Collect yourself, take a deep breath, & don't get your baby until you know it is safe.  If you & your partner are helping each other out, you may have days where you're trading baby back & forth every 30 minutes. That's ok.  If you see your partner struggling but you're in a good place, take over child duties & give that person a break.
8. "Things" will fall by the wayside. Give yourself a break on them. Cleaning, home improvement, yard work...  Babies take a lot of work & time. By the time you feed, change, console, & get them down for a (short) nap, it's time to start it all over again. And they do these silly things like go through growth spurts or get sick & just when you think you might have some free time, they need extra snuggling. Find your priorities - sleep, working out, laundry, manicures, cleaning - whatever those "things" are that you absolutely require to feel human & make time for them. The other stuff will happen again. Someday. In eighteen years when your child moves out.
9. Time does not move fast. But only in the beginning. Everyone says, "oh time moves so quick & before you know it, they're teenagers." Bullshit. The first month feels like it goes by soooo slowly. It's tough & you're not sure if you're ever going to get the hang of this child-rearing stuff. But suddenly, it's month two & your baby that was 7 pounds & fit snugly in your arms is almost 11 pounds & she's almost too long for your arms. Time begins to move a little quicker...
10. And you realize you are figuring out this parenting thing.  Your baby, YOUR baby, starts to smile & coo & babble. He or she spends less time sleeping or fussing and  now hangs out with you in the kitchen. They start sleeping a little longer at night. You watch as they notice their hands for the first time. Your heart soars as you see these milestones. And when you realize it won't be long before your baby is more independent, you hold them a little tighter as they fall asleep in your arms.

Bonus tip: Stay off social media of any sort. When you see someone post a status of "Hehe, finally fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans two weeks post partum & my perfect baby just spit up a little on them. So cute!" & you're still in maternity leggings six weeks post partum & your baby hasn't napped all day & pooped on your sweatpants (that you're still wearing at 4 p.m.), you will cry. Then you will try on your pre-pregnancy pants & realize they still don't fit. Then you will cry again. Then you will eat wayyyy too much ice cream. Or cheese. Or both.

Stay off social media.

Two months

The wax and wane of loss and life...  One day we mourn the loss of our beloved pup and the next day we celebrate two months of life for our beautiful daughter.

Munchkin turned two months on December 2 and the next day, had her two-month well visit with the pediatrician.  She didn't grow much in weight but she's grown in height and head circumference.  Yay big noggin!  More room for all that brain matter.  :)  The pediatrician isn't concerned about her weight, since she's growing in the other areas too.  She explained that sometimes babies will gain more height and weight has to catch up or vice versa.  Either way, other than a small cold (thanks to Mom & Dad), she's very healthy.  She then received five vaccinations - one oral & three injections (one injection combined vaccinations).  Oh my goodness, the scream.  She cried so hard.  But then she fell asleep & was, for the most part, a champ the rest of the day!  It doesn't hurt we spent a lot of the day snuggling.
Likes: Daddy (this girl lights UP when daddy is nearby), activity (she loves when we're in the kitchen moving around & she's in her bouncer observing & interacting), mama's milk, snuggling, being nekkid, smiling/giggling/cooing, her hands (this is a recent development - she's now watching her hands), warm shower/bath, sleeping (when she's in a deep sleep but it's nearing feeding time, you can see her internal struggle as she tries to decide whether it's time to eat or time to keep sleeping)
Dislikes: Hunger, boring or quiet rooms, getting out of the shower/bath, 5-9 p.m. (the witching hours!), vaccinations, gas

Wherein life is consumed by a ten pound human

Parents, how do you get anything done with a baby?  Since we had her, it seems like we've barely been able to take care of the essentials to maintain sanity (running, showering, eating & laundry).  One of us is usually running interference with the little one, giving the other spouse a few minutes to get something done.  Let's ignore the fact the house desperately needs cleaned & home improvement has come to all but a standstill.

Despite it all, we fall in love with her over and over and over again.  And each day she surprises us with new development - smiles, giggles, movement.

 Her hair is fabulous.

 Hands by the head/face for sleeping.  Always.

 "Please, no pictures right now."

 Her papa put her down in front of the mirror in our room & she was instantly fascinated.  Look closely & you can see Brewer's snout, checking things out.

 Coy smile.

 Our turkey was not amused.

 These are the moments when the plug comes in handy.

As I was looking through pictures, I realized we never posted these pictures from the fall, shortly after we moved into the house.  We have a dogwood shrub which we happily discovered attracts a large variety of birds.  We'd sit in our sun room, eating dinner & watching the birds fill up on the berries, preparing for winter.

More recently, we've had a series of strong windstorms.  We saw this girl taking advantage of the spilled sunflower seeds from the bird feeder after a strong wind blew through the area.

One month

I had plans to post this on November 2, which would be Butterbean's one month birthday.  But babies have a way of taking your plans & throwing them out the window (or spitting up on them or pooping on them or sleeping through them or crying through them).  With as busy as she's kept me, I'm perfect happy posting this two days late.  Close enough.

Our girl is growing quickly & keeping us on our toes.  We love her so very much - what an amazing addition to the family.  Despite the fact sleep deprivation is possibly causing us to act like we're drunk.  It explains a lot.  Seriously.

The dogs (mostly) love her.  Brewer takes a special interest in her.  I know they feel neglected because we're not spending nearly enough time loving on them but it's amazing to watch them check on her.  When she starts crying, however, Guinness disappears.

Her chicken neck.  Gets me, every time.  So cute!

 We get this look, a lot.  The quizzical look.

Butterbean, you enrich our lives every day.  We miss sleeping in & the spontaneity of our pre-children days but we wouldn't change anything.  We love watching you grow & learn.  As you begin to find your voice, giggling & babbling & squeaking, we grin like fools & snuggle you closer.  We love all your hilarious faces

Except this face.  Ouch.

Happy Birthday beautiful baby girl.

A birth story that went completely different than planned

I've tried to write this post a few times but struggled to find the right words.  Baby blues are legitimate.  I'm thankful the nurses and pediatrician warned me I'd be an emotional nutcase after leaving the hospital.  Raging hormones & sleep deprivation do not lend well to mental stability postpartum.  I heeded their advice but also thought, "it can't be that bad, I'm a fairly stable person."  Ha.  Ego check.  It manifested before we left the hospital but reared its ugliest head the first week post-discharge.  I would break down crying for no particular reason & my knight of a husband spent many moments hugging & reassuring me everything was okay.  Luckily, each day I faced less meltdowns & within 4-5 days of leaving the hospital, I only noticed fleeting sadness.

Coupled with the expected emotional meltdowns, everything felt compounded by the fact our labor & delivery did not go as planned.  Our pregnancy progressed extremely low-risk, healthy, & "easy."  Butterbean was head down by the end of the third trimester & I (wrongly) thought labor & delivery would proceed in a similar manner.  We planned a natural delivery with little to no pain meds, except for the possibility of an epidural.  Hindsight 20/20, I was in denial.  I wouldn't need a C-section.  I was healthy & my pregnancy had been so low-key.  I was so very very wrong.

Wednesday, October 1, I woke at 4:30 a.m., by what I thought to be my incredibly compressed bladder requiring yet another trip to the loo.  Wrong.  I laid down in bed & at 4:40, felt an odd & new cramp in my pelvis.  My sleepy brain snapped awake when I realized that cramp was not a cramp but instead a contraction.  I grabbed my phone & for the next hour, logged my contractions in an app I downloaded the prior week (yes, there's an app for everything).  By 5:30, contractions were every ten minutes & I couldn't contain my excitement.  Like a cat stalking prey, I stared at hubby, willing him to wake up.  He must have felt my eyes drilling holes into his face because he woke up & immediately asked what was going on when he saw the stupid grin on my face.  I'm not one to be that wide awake that early.

I continued logging contractions & we spent the morning distracting ourselves with breakfast, errands, neighborhood walks, anything to pass the time.  By noon, we convinced ourselves the contractions were close enough & strong enough to proceed to the hospital.  Imagine our disappointment when we were told I wasn't dilated & the contractions truly weren't close enough to indicate the start of labor.  *Sigh*  We drove home like deflated balloons.

By evening, contractions were incredibly uncomfortable.  A warm bath offered the most comfort & when we tried to watch a movie, I could barely concentrate & spent every few minutes pacing the room.  We attempted sleep but contractions wouldn't allow me to rest.  By 2 a.m., contractions were so painful & close together, we decided we needed to go to the hospital again.  This time, they found me to be 2 cm dilated & we were admitted.  Hooray!  It was time to have a baby.

For the next four hours, I writhed in pain as each contraction blasted me, stronger & stronger.  Although you're encouraged to move & walk to promote labor, the only truly comfortable spots for me were a warm bath or in bed.  By 6:30 a.m., I was dilated between 5-6 cm & given the green light to receive the epidural.  I struggled internally with the decision & in my sleep-deprived brain, convinced myself I was "giving up."  Tough people don't get epidurals & I'm tough.  But the contractions were so incredibly painful & I was receiving no relief in between (contractions are supposed to peak & subside; at this point, mine were not subsiding).  Looking back, I know the long labor taxed me, mentally & physically.  Deep exhaustion left me indecisive & unsure.  I don't know what I would have done without my better half by my side.

Before shift change - which might delay the anesthesiologist by an hour or more - I selected to receive my epidural.  The epidural went smoothly & within a few minutes, I immediately relaxed.  I continued experiencing pressure during contractions but the pain was gone.  For the first time in over 24 hours, I was able to catch a few winks of sleep.

Within an hour, I woke to commotion in the room.  Hubby explained they noticed Butterbean's heart rate was dropping precipitously low with each contraction.  Her low heart rate indicated stress & the likelihood she was deprived of oxygen during the contractions.  Our midwife was called in & she discussed the concerns - my dilation stalled out at 6 cm, Butterbean's heart rate was too low during contractions (anything below 100 bpm is a red flag; her rate was dropping to 80 bpm), & I was experiencing heavier than normal bloody discharge.  She called in the OB/GYN for consultation & he explained the possibility of C-section.  He gave us time to discuss but did mention if her heart rate dropped that low again, we would be facing an emergency C-section.

I cried.  I was so incredibly exhausted & I thought I failed us & our baby.  Everything was going so horribly wrong.  I didn't want a C-section but the thought something might be wrong with our baby was too much.  In my continuously taxed mind, I determined my decision to receive the epidural was the root cause for the sudden onset of complications.  Hubby knew I was struggling & mentioned my concern to the nurse (he could tell I was not going to say anything).  She immediately reassured me that was not the case.  Within a few minutes, the OB/GYN returned & much to my relief, explained the epidural did not cause the complications.  I'm so grateful to the nurse; I know she sensed my distress & made it a point to tell the OB/GYN so he could talk me off the ledge.

We decided waiting was not an option.  We could not put our baby in that kind of danger & knew the C-section was worth the safety of baby & mama.  Immediately, the room became a flurry of activity as we prepped for surgery.  I was wheeled into the OR & hubby waited in the family room, dressed in scrubs & waiting for a nurse to retrieve him.  My epidural was switched to a spinal block (weird, weird feeling) & once I was ready, they brought hubby into the room to sit with me.

The surgery lasted mere minutes.  I was numb from the chest down (seriously, a weird feeling) but could feel the pulling & tugging as the OB/GYN & midwife quickly excised Butterbean.  We heard her cry & she immediately went to the nurse & pediatrician for a quick evaluation.  Hubby joined them & I watched from the operating table while I was closed up.  The OB/GYN & midwife found the cause of the complications - placental abruption.  After determining she was perfectly healthy, she was brought to my chest to bond for a few minutes.  I was cleaned up, we were wheeled into recovery, & Butterbean was back on my chest to breastfeed.

We survived the C-section & recovery has been better than expected (I attribute that to staying healthy during the pregnancy).  Not to mention, we have an absolutely beautiful, healthy daughter keeping us awake at night brightening our lives every day.

Welcome to the world, Lillian Marie

At 10:46 a.m. on Thursday, October 2, we welcomed a beautiful 6 lb. 15 oz. baby girl.  Lillian Marie came into the world via C-section after an exhaustive 30+ hour labor.

Despite some rough nights, we are so incredibly smitten.  Being new parents is exhausting (so.incredibly.exhausting) but we catch ourselves staring at her in awe, still unsure we created this little being.  

I wasn't sure if I should post a birth story but if anyone takes comfort in our experience, it's worth it.  Story to follow...

Due date...come & gone...

We sit and wait for Baby Lipetzky to make her arrival.  Well, not really sit & wait.  Since we just purchased & moved into a house (more on that to come later!), we're keeping ourselves very, very busy.  Although it's tough keeping anxiety at bay, the home improvement projects fill our days (& nights) with plenty of tasks.

We slacked off on taking pictures recently, although we blame that entirely on the move.  With that being said, we managed, between an afternoon of showers, to capture a few pictures at our new place.

If you look closely over my shoulder, we captured a rainbow.  :)

 Guinness decided to join me for this picture, which he promptly left as his brother, Brewer, was investigating something & Guinness just couldn't wait to check it out.

 In front of the new house!  Don't mind the garbages; we're keeping those readily available while we work our way through home improvement projects.

Due Date: September 27, 2014 (womp womp, we're now past due)
Gender: Girl
Weight Gain: ~30 lbs.
Food Cravings/Aversions:  Hilarious question.  By full-term, the strong food aversions & cravings are almost disappeared.  I do find myself craving more vegetarian & less meat; I'm not sure where it stems from but if I lived alone & only cooked for myself, I probably would not be eating meat about 90% of the time.  Except for chicken nuggets - sorry folks, nothing will stop my love for chicken nuggets.  Throughout this entire pregnancy, certain meals simply don't sound good - hamburgers, steak, etc.  However, since hubby & I share cooking duties (& the poor guy would be reduced to skin & bones), we continue to eat meat as we did pre-pregnancy.  I'll eat meat if it's served but I won't be the one ordering a 1/2 pound burger when we go out to eat.
Symptoms:  Oh Lord, the hormones have hit & they've hit hard.  I will chalk some of it up to the stress of the move but I didn't understand the emotional roller coaster a lot of women complain about until this last trimester.  Whether it's choosing a couch or how to organize a closet in the new place, I can be reduced to a puddle of tears in approximately 10 seconds flat.  I can't help it & immediately after the episode passes, I can't figure out what the hell is my problem.  It's as if a crazy woman possesses my body & mind.  My dear, dear husband wins "Most Amazingly Patient" & "Best Husband" for a lifetime (X 100).
Physically, the last trimester has also been the most difficult.  My hips/back ache like an elderly rheumatic, heartburn is a common middle-of-the-night wake-up call, my bladder holds approximately 1 oz of liquid (also inducing regular nighttime interruptions), & I can't bend at the waist (making it fun when I drop something on the floor).
Otherwise, life is a peach!  :)
Ring:  Still fits...barely...  I wear it to work, otherwise it comes off.  Anytime we're doing any sort of chore, the ring stays off.  It takes very little time for my fingers to swell a bit & then I can forget taking my ring off.
Running/Workouts: Still rocking it with the workouts!  I'm taking walks around our neighborhood & have set up a workout room in our basement to lift weights.  I actually prefer weight-lifting at this point; even walking leaves me in need of a bathroom & sore lower abs.  I have also enjoyed days off because the closer we get to due date, the more tired I am & the harder my body is working (yes, cooking dinner leaves me tired).  This past weekend, we found a good deal on Craigslist for a decent treadmill, so we pulled the trigger & brought her home.  With the pending change in schedule (& weather), we know a 'mill will help us maintain our sanity.  Between hubby & myself, we will most definitely get our money's worth out of the new toy.

Baby Bump in the Subalpine

Last weekend Chicky, the dogs and I went for a little hike up on MacDonald Pass west of Helena.  My beautiful bride makes such a gorgeous pregnant woman that I couldn't help but take a few bump pictures while we were there.  Here are a few of my favorites.  I even convinced her to try on my hat for a few pictures.

Recent happenings

Apparently we do have things going on in our life, besides preparing for baby.

Steve completed another ultra, the Devil's Backbone 50-miler.  I'm losing count how many 50-milers we're at...four? five? six?  He also ran 100K last year.  Let's blame it on pregnancy brain.
We met our good friends in Bozeman for the race - they're from Sheridan & we miss them since moving to Helena, so it was great to catch up.  The two crazies pre-race:

 (It's ok hubby, you can smile.  Or maybe you're thinking about another pre-race porta potty trip).

Ah-ha, there's the smile!  Post-race excitement.

 Nothing like an ultra through the mountains, followed by a refreshing IPA.

This race is known for being extremely tough & to make matters more exciting, it's essentially unsupported.  The runners are expected to have general navigation skills, in addition to packing their own water (or filter system) & food.  Steve finished in a very admirable 11:35 - good job honey!

Now that we live in Helena and within twenty minutes of several lakes (yay!), we've tried to take full advantage of the warm weather.  Here's what it looks like when we take four big dogs to the lake:

The last weekend of July, we zipped over to Missoula for their annual Celtic Festival.  With Enter the Haggis and Young Dubliners playing, we couldn't pass up the quick trip.

Guinness (appropriately named) enjoying the park after a dip in the river.

Enter the Haggis.

Just like a little kid, he quickly passed out after a busy afternoon.

Young Dubliners with special guest Eric Rigler (far left)

They put on a great show & the fact everything was free was awesome!  We got their early enough to score great seats (it's in a park, so BYO chair) & had a very fun time.

It's never to early to introduce baby to our love for all things Irish.  She certainly spent a good portion of the night dancing.  We don't know who's playing at the festival next year but we might have to bring her along.