Coupled with the expected emotional meltdowns, everything felt compounded by the fact our labor & delivery did not go as planned. Our pregnancy progressed extremely low-risk, healthy, & "easy." Butterbean was head down by the end of the third trimester & I (wrongly) thought labor & delivery would proceed in a similar manner. We planned a natural delivery with little to no pain meds, except for the possibility of an epidural. Hindsight 20/20, I was in denial. I wouldn't need a C-section. I was healthy & my pregnancy had been so low-key. I was so very very wrong.
Wednesday, October 1, I woke at 4:30 a.m., by what I thought to be my incredibly compressed bladder requiring yet another trip to the loo. Wrong. I laid down in bed & at 4:40, felt an odd & new cramp in my pelvis. My sleepy brain snapped awake when I realized that cramp was not a cramp but instead a contraction. I grabbed my phone & for the next hour, logged my contractions in an app I downloaded the prior week (yes, there's an app for everything). By 5:30, contractions were every ten minutes & I couldn't contain my excitement. Like a cat stalking prey, I stared at hubby, willing him to wake up. He must have felt my eyes drilling holes into his face because he woke up & immediately asked what was going on when he saw the stupid grin on my face. I'm not one to be that wide awake that early.
I continued logging contractions & we spent the morning distracting ourselves with breakfast, errands, neighborhood walks, anything to pass the time. By noon, we convinced ourselves the contractions were close enough & strong enough to proceed to the hospital. Imagine our disappointment when we were told I wasn't dilated & the contractions truly weren't close enough to indicate the start of labor. *Sigh* We drove home like deflated balloons.
By evening, contractions were incredibly uncomfortable. A warm bath offered the most comfort & when we tried to watch a movie, I could barely concentrate & spent every few minutes pacing the room. We attempted sleep but contractions wouldn't allow me to rest. By 2 a.m., contractions were so painful & close together, we decided we needed to go to the hospital again. This time, they found me to be 2 cm dilated & we were admitted. Hooray! It was time to have a baby.
For the next four hours, I writhed in pain as each contraction blasted me, stronger & stronger. Although you're encouraged to move & walk to promote labor, the only truly comfortable spots for me were a warm bath or in bed. By 6:30 a.m., I was dilated between 5-6 cm & given the green light to receive the epidural. I struggled internally with the decision & in my sleep-deprived brain, convinced myself I was "giving up." Tough people don't get epidurals & I'm tough. But the contractions were so incredibly painful & I was receiving no relief in between (contractions are supposed to peak & subside; at this point, mine were not subsiding). Looking back, I know the long labor taxed me, mentally & physically. Deep exhaustion left me indecisive & unsure. I don't know what I would have done without my better half by my side.
Before shift change - which might delay the anesthesiologist by an hour or more - I selected to receive my epidural. The epidural went smoothly & within a few minutes, I immediately relaxed. I continued experiencing pressure during contractions but the pain was gone. For the first time in over 24 hours, I was able to catch a few winks of sleep.
Within an hour, I woke to commotion in the room. Hubby explained they noticed Butterbean's heart rate was dropping precipitously low with each contraction. Her low heart rate indicated stress & the likelihood she was deprived of oxygen during the contractions. Our midwife was called in & she discussed the concerns - my dilation stalled out at 6 cm, Butterbean's heart rate was too low during contractions (anything below 100 bpm is a red flag; her rate was dropping to 80 bpm), & I was experiencing heavier than normal bloody discharge. She called in the OB/GYN for consultation & he explained the possibility of C-section. He gave us time to discuss but did mention if her heart rate dropped that low again, we would be facing an emergency C-section.
I cried. I was so incredibly exhausted & I thought I failed us & our baby. Everything was going so horribly wrong. I didn't want a C-section but the thought something might be wrong with our baby was too much. In my continuously taxed mind, I determined my decision to receive the epidural was the root cause for the sudden onset of complications. Hubby knew I was struggling & mentioned my concern to the nurse (he could tell I was not going to say anything). She immediately reassured me that was not the case. Within a few minutes, the OB/GYN returned & much to my relief, explained the epidural did not cause the complications. I'm so grateful to the nurse; I know she sensed my distress & made it a point to tell the OB/GYN so he could talk me off the ledge.
We decided waiting was not an option. We could not put our baby in that kind of danger & knew the C-section was worth the safety of baby & mama. Immediately, the room became a flurry of activity as we prepped for surgery. I was wheeled into the OR & hubby waited in the family room, dressed in scrubs & waiting for a nurse to retrieve him. My epidural was switched to a spinal block (weird, weird feeling) & once I was ready, they brought hubby into the room to sit with me.
The surgery lasted mere minutes. I was numb from the chest down (seriously, a weird feeling) but could feel the pulling & tugging as the OB/GYN & midwife quickly excised Butterbean. We heard her cry & she immediately went to the nurse & pediatrician for a quick evaluation. Hubby joined them & I watched from the operating table while I was closed up. The OB/GYN & midwife found the cause of the complications - placental abruption. After determining she was perfectly healthy, she was brought to my chest to bond for a few minutes. I was cleaned up, we were wheeled into recovery, & Butterbean was back on my chest to breastfeed.
We survived the C-section & recovery has been better than expected (I attribute that to staying healthy during the pregnancy). Not to mention, we have an absolutely beautiful, healthy daughter
